Being a single parent is hard. Instead of lifting me up when I needed the most help, they let me down. I still feel committed to Judaism and living Jewishly, but I am conflicted about Jewish institutions. There is an unspoken stigma regarding divorce in the Jewish community. In addition, success in the Jewish world is almost always defined as highly educated, capable of self-support, and able to maintain a functioning family. So when my marriage fell apart, it was logical that I felt like a failure. If I say I want to be there for you, I will. If I tell you I like you, I mean it.
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For many, these words represent a contradiction in terms. Despite the growing number of divorced families in the Jewish community, the general reaction to them is discomfort and inattention, making families feel marginalized at a time when they most need to feel embraced. Many would prefer to think that divorce does not happen in our community, and that when it does, it is an infrequent occurrence that can be dealt with privately.
Many rabbis say that they feel ill at ease when it comes to dealing with divorcing congregants.
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These Jewish Moms Are Speaking Up for Single Parents
I memorized the Friday night kiddush years ago. I’ve also picked up some rudimentary skills in carpentry, plumbing, and various other household repairs. The first time I changed a bicycle tire or fixed a leaking toilet, I felt a real sense of accomplishment and pride in knowing that I could really handle things.
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A Single Mother Speaks Out
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Wh en Leslie Perez became a single mother of two girls following a divorce, she felt isolated and lonely — particularly on Shabbat. At first she was invited for Shabbat meals by friends, family, and members of the community, but after a year or so, the invitations began to dwindle and she often found herself alone with her daughters. I feel honoured and privileged to join forces with Leslie in this much needed endeavour. Through word of mouth and Facebook, the event drew 20 single mothers to this lunch.
It was just single moms from different walks of life, different ages, different financial situations, with different reasons for being single, all just getting together. The single mother of four boys lost her husband to cancer over two years ago. It will be catered by a single mother from the group, and children are welcome, as Perez acknowledges that childcare for single parents can be difficult to find. There are several future initiatives in the works for the group, including a dating workshop specifically geared for single mothers, an intergenerational program with Holocaust survivors, and Elevate Women, a one-day business conference for all women in the fall.
For now, the group is self-funded but is looking into different grant and donor opportunities. Perez says she is inspired by the strength and courage of the women in her group. The more you get people together, the stronger you are collectively. The race to be the leader of the Conservative Party. Israel declares complete coronavirus lockdown on eve of Passover. Gantz says forming a unity government may take more time.